Let's talk about what you're trying to build
Tell us about your project. We'll come back to you within one working day with honest thoughts on whether we can help, what it might cost, and how long it would take. No discovery-call template, no manufactured urgency, no sales pressure.
UK Based
Support
hello@
technophobia.uk
Mon-Fri
9am - 4pm
Out of hours
By arrangement
How to reach us
Six ways to start a conversation
Pick the one that suits you. Every route lands with the same small team — there's no call-centre, no chatbot triage you can't escape, no sales pipeline you'll get filtered through. The first person you talk to will either be the right person to answer your question, or will put you in front of them within hours.
Email — hello@technophobia.uk
The simplest route. Tell us what you're working on, what you've tried, and what success looks like. We come back within one working day with proper thoughts, not a templated response.
The simplest route. Tell us what you're working on, what you've tried, and what success looks like. We come back within one working day with proper thoughts, not a templated response.
Phone — 01229 774591
Office hours: 9am-4pm Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Out of hours, Miss Moneypenny (our AI receptionist) takes a message and we call back, usually within a few hours.
Office hours: 9am-4pm Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Out of hours, Miss Moneypenny (our AI receptionist) takes a message and we call back, usually within a few hours.
Discovery Call
30-60 minutes on the phone or video to map your problem. We come back with a written scope and a fixed-price quote. The discovery call costs you nothing.
30-60 minutes on the phone or video to map your problem. We come back with a written scope and a fixed-price quote. The discovery call costs you nothing.
Visit the Office
Unit 13B, Devonshire Road Industrial Estate, Millom, LA18 4JS. By appointment — we don't usually keep a receptionist on the front door, so call ahead or email.
Unit 13B, Devonshire Road Industrial Estate, Millom, LA18 4JS. By appointment — we don't usually keep a receptionist on the front door, so call ahead or email.
WhatsApp Business
Same number, 01229 774591. Useful for sending photos, screenshots or context that doesn't fit in an email. We respond on the same one-working-day cadence.
Same number, 01229 774591. Useful for sending photos, screenshots or context that doesn't fit in an email. We respond on the same one-working-day cadence.
Existing Clients
You already have our direct numbers and a support email if you need it. For new project enquiries from existing clients, the routes above all work the same way.
You already have our direct numbers and a support email if you need it. For new project enquiries from existing clients, the routes above all work the same way.
What to tell us when you get in touch
Four bits of context that make the first conversation more useful
What You're Trying To Do
In plain English. The outcome, not the technology. 'Stop losing leads when nobody answers the phone' is more useful than 'I need an AI receptionist'.
In plain English. The outcome, not the technology. 'Stop losing leads when nobody answers the phone' is more useful than 'I need an AI receptionist'.
What You've Tried
Off-the-shelf products you've trialled. Workarounds you've put in place. What worked, what didn't. Saves us suggesting things you've already ruled out.
Off-the-shelf products you've trialled. Workarounds you've put in place. What worked, what didn't. Saves us suggesting things you've already ruled out.
What You're Working With
Your existing CRM, accounts, calendar, shop, hosting. We work with most things — knowing your stack upfront makes the first call more productive.
Your existing CRM, accounts, calendar, shop, hosting. We work with most things — knowing your stack upfront makes the first call more productive.
What Success Looks Like
How would you know the project worked? Number of leads captured? Hours saved? Compliance achieved? Defines the brief.
How would you know the project worked? Number of leads captured? Hours saved? Compliance achieved? Defines the brief.
What happens after you get in touch
First conversation, then a real proposal
Within one working day: we come back to you, by your preferred channel, with proper thoughts. Not a template, not a calendar link, not a sales sequence. A real person responding to what you actually said.
Within one week: if there's a real project in it, we book a discovery call — 30-60 minutes by phone or video. We use that time to map your problem, your existing systems, and your constraints. No sales pitch, no manufactured urgency.
Within two weeks of the discovery call: a written scope and fixed-price quote with delivery timeline. From that point you know exactly what you're committing to before any money changes hands.
You only sign a build agreement when you're happy with the scope and price. We invoice 50% on agreement, 50% on delivery — or in milestones for larger builds. No retainer required to get a quote.
Within one week: if there's a real project in it, we book a discovery call — 30-60 minutes by phone or video. We use that time to map your problem, your existing systems, and your constraints. No sales pitch, no manufactured urgency.
Within two weeks of the discovery call: a written scope and fixed-price quote with delivery timeline. From that point you know exactly what you're committing to before any money changes hands.
You only sign a build agreement when you're happy with the scope and price. We invoice 50% on agreement, 50% on delivery — or in milestones for larger builds. No retainer required to get a quote.
If you ring out of hours
Miss Moneypenny will pick up — and she's good
If you ring 01229 774591 outside office hours, Miss Moneypenny answers. She is our AI receptionist — the same product we sell, running on our own business.
She knows what we do, what we charge in rough terms, and what kind of projects we take. She'll qualify your enquiry, capture your details, and pass everything to the right person so we can call you back within a few hours.
If your call is urgent — say you're an existing client with a system down — she escalates immediately and Bill or Matthew will pick up directly.
Most callers don't realise she's AI. That's not a deception, it's a sign that the technology is genuinely good. You can ask her if you want to know — she'll tell you honestly. She's good practice for what we build for other businesses.
She knows what we do, what we charge in rough terms, and what kind of projects we take. She'll qualify your enquiry, capture your details, and pass everything to the right person so we can call you back within a few hours.
If your call is urgent — say you're an existing client with a system down — she escalates immediately and Bill or Matthew will pick up directly.
Most callers don't realise she's AI. That's not a deception, it's a sign that the technology is genuinely good. You can ask her if you want to know — she'll tell you honestly. She's good practice for what we build for other businesses.
Our office hours
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday — and out of hours by arrangement
Office hours: 9am to 4pm Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Wednesday is a focus day when we minimise meetings to get heads-down work done — you can still email us and we'll respond, but we won't take calls except by prior arrangement.
Out of hours and weekend work is available by prior arrangement for time-sensitive projects, urgent fixes for existing clients, and for clients in industries where the rest of their week is genuinely impossible. We don't charge premium rates for it, but we ask that you arrange it ahead of time so we can structure our week properly.
For existing clients with system-down emergencies, we have an emergency contact route. You already have it — and if you don't, ask for it. We respond to live-system emergencies as quickly as we possibly can.
Out of hours and weekend work is available by prior arrangement for time-sensitive projects, urgent fixes for existing clients, and for clients in industries where the rest of their week is genuinely impossible. We don't charge premium rates for it, but we ask that you arrange it ahead of time so we can structure our week properly.
For existing clients with system-down emergencies, we have an emergency contact route. You already have it — and if you don't, ask for it. We respond to live-system emergencies as quickly as we possibly can.
Where to find us
Unit 13B, Devonshire Road Industrial Estate, Millom
Technophobia Ltd is based at Unit 13B, Devonshire Road Industrial Estate, Millom, Cumbria LA18 4JS. We are about 45 minutes from Barrow-in-Furness, an hour from Kendal and Whitehaven, and around 90 minutes from Carlisle, Lancaster or the M6.
Visitors are welcome by appointment. We don't usually keep a receptionist on the front door, and we work across two adjoining units, so calling ahead means we can have the right person ready to meet you. Free parking on site, and the front of the unit has a couple of visitor spaces.
For meetings further afield: we travel for projects that genuinely benefit from in-person sessions, particularly discovery workshops with several stakeholders or compliance-sensitive industries where face-to-face matters. Travel time and expenses are quoted separately and approved in advance — but most of our work runs perfectly on video calls.
Visitors are welcome by appointment. We don't usually keep a receptionist on the front door, and we work across two adjoining units, so calling ahead means we can have the right person ready to meet you. Free parking on site, and the front of the unit has a couple of visitor spaces.
For meetings further afield: we travel for projects that genuinely benefit from in-person sessions, particularly discovery workshops with several stakeholders or compliance-sensitive industries where face-to-face matters. Travel time and expenses are quoted separately and approved in advance — but most of our work runs perfectly on video calls.
Cold callers, recruiters and sales pitches
We are friendly but firm — please respect a no
We get a lot of cold outreach. We are nice about it, but we have policies that save everyone time.
Cold sales calls: Miss Moneypenny screens these out. If you have something genuinely relevant — for instance, a service we don't currently use that would improve our delivery — please email rather than call. We read everything; the email route has a much better hit rate.
Recruiters: We don't currently use external recruitment agencies. We hire through direct application and our existing networks. Please don't send unsolicited CVs.
SEO and marketing services: We are a Cyber Essentials certified digital agency with 20 years of SEO experience in-house. We are not in the market for SEO services, link-building, or content syndication.
Sponsored content and link insertions: No, thank you. We don't accept sponsored guest posts or link insertion requests, and we won't reply to follow-ups.
If you got past Miss Moneypenny and you're a real customer, ignore all of this — it isn't aimed at you. We're glad you got through.
Cold sales calls: Miss Moneypenny screens these out. If you have something genuinely relevant — for instance, a service we don't currently use that would improve our delivery — please email rather than call. We read everything; the email route has a much better hit rate.
Recruiters: We don't currently use external recruitment agencies. We hire through direct application and our existing networks. Please don't send unsolicited CVs.
SEO and marketing services: We are a Cyber Essentials certified digital agency with 20 years of SEO experience in-house. We are not in the market for SEO services, link-building, or content syndication.
Sponsored content and link insertions: No, thank you. We don't accept sponsored guest posts or link insertion requests, and we won't reply to follow-ups.
If you got past Miss Moneypenny and you're a real customer, ignore all of this — it isn't aimed at you. We're glad you got through.
Sister company contact
Whamos Ltd shares our address and a phone line
Whamos Ltd, our sister web design and SEO company, shares our office address and main phone number. If you reach us about a project that's mostly web design, content production or SEO, we'll route the conversation to the right brand from our end — you don't need to figure out which company to contact first.
Whamos Ltd direct: info@whamosltd.co.uk, 01229 774591 (option 1).
The Whamos website at whamos.co.uk explains the web design and SEO services in more detail — different pricing structure, different service catalogue, same team and culture.
For projects that involve both companies — typically a new website with a custom plugin or AI integration — you talk to one person and we coordinate internally. No double-billing for project coordination.
Whamos Ltd direct: info@whamosltd.co.uk, 01229 774591 (option 1).
The Whamos website at whamos.co.uk explains the web design and SEO services in more detail — different pricing structure, different service catalogue, same team and culture.
For projects that involve both companies — typically a new website with a custom plugin or AI integration — you talk to one person and we coordinate internally. No double-billing for project coordination.
1
Working day response time
24/7
Miss Moneypenny picks up your call
£0
Cost of a discovery call
100%
Fixed-price quotes, no hourly billing
Who we typically work with
Six industries where we have real production deployments
What clients say after working with us
Reviews from real systems we built
How a project typically starts
Three steps from first email to live system
Get In Touch
Email hello@technophobia.uk or call 01229 774591. A real person answers within one working day. You'll get sensible questions back, not a templated response.
Email hello@technophobia.uk or call 01229 774591. A real person answers within one working day. You'll get sensible questions back, not a templated response.
Discover
30-60 minute discovery call. We map the problem. We come back with a written scope and a fixed-price quote within a week of the call. You decide whether to proceed.
30-60 minute discovery call. We map the problem. We come back with a written scope and a fixed-price quote within a week of the call. You decide whether to proceed.
Build & Deliver
Weeks rather than months. Staging URL from week one. Weekly demos. Full code ownership transferred on delivery. Optional support thereafter.
Weeks rather than months. Staging URL from week one. Weekly demos. Full code ownership transferred on delivery. Optional support thereafter.
Common questions about getting started
Things prospects ask before their first call
Will the discovery call cost me anything?
No. The discovery call is free, with no obligation. We use the time to understand whether we can genuinely help you. If we can, we'll come back with a written scope and a fixed-price quote. If we can't, we'll tell you that — and often recommend who could.
We can pick up most quotes within a week to ten days of the discovery call. For very large or complex builds, the scoping itself might take a fortnight. We'll always tell you on the call how long the quote will take.
Anywhere in the UK. We're based in Cumbria but most of our work runs perfectly on video calls. For projects where in-person workshops genuinely help, we travel — costs are quoted separately and approved in advance. Most projects don't need it.
We do not take on projects we don't think we can deliver well. We'll tell you that honestly. We also don't take on extremely tight deadline work where the timeline is genuinely unrealistic — we'd rather decline than take your money and fail. We've turned down projects that wouldn't have worked, and we recommend others where we can.
We invoice 50% on agreement of scope, 50% on delivery for most projects. For larger builds we invoice in milestones. Bank transfer or Stripe — we don't take credit card payments for new projects. Established clients on retainers are invoiced monthly.
Yes — every project ships with a 30-day bug-fix window included. Optional ongoing support packages are available afterwards for clients who want us monitoring the system. Or you can engage us per-change. Or hire someone else, because you own the code.
The fastest way to start is to email us.
Tell us what you're working on. We'll come back within one working day with honest thoughts and the right next step.
Tell us what you're working on. We'll come back within one working day with honest thoughts and the right next step.